On Love

Beware, KP has an opinion post to follow…

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As always, I continue to be a terrible writer and not write as often as I should.  I’ve been doing a bit of traveling within the States, although work keeps me busy and I haven’t really had the time to take some new photos.  We went up to Biloxi two weekends ago and toured the Jefferson Davis home, Beauvoir, but the weather wasn’t good enough to walk around and take many pictures.  Today was Easter, and although I do not identify with any particular religious belief system, it is always a nice excuse to spend a few hours at brunch with friends.

I had an incident that occurred just about two weeks ago that really got me thinking about love and forgiveness, and I think for my own cathartic reasons it needs to be shared.  I am specifically talking about the kind of romantic love in relationships in this entry.  I think we as a whole, both over-use and under-use the phrase, “I love you.”  We over-use it in the sense that it is said for the wrong reasons, whether that is manipulation for some shallow gain (sex, money, material items, etc), or we aren’t thinking about what it really means.  Maybe it’s because as a writer I’ve been cursed with constant introspection, but I can never understand why people can use a phrase of this gravity so carelessly.  When you say, “I love you” to somebody, what you are really saying is, “You are THE priority in my life.”  It is such a massive statement to make, which is why I fully believe it shouldn’t be said or used as carelessly as it is!  Love is ultimately about selflessness; anything other than such isn’t love, it’s lust or infatuation or whatever else.  But love is about someone else.

People often make mistakes, no one is perfect.  Through love, I believe forgiveness can heal wounds and relationships can grow strong, ONLY if both people are willing to put in the proper effort and believe their relationship is worth saving.

I’ve been thinking about this often as I observe others around me.  I see relationships I wish I can someday emulate with someone.  These relationships generally consist of two partners who enjoy spending much time together doing hobbies they both enjoy, such as traveling, cooking, exploring new restaurants, and the like.  They communicate well and are completely open with one another.  They fully respect and appreciate their partner and do not take them for granted.  I also see relationships I hope to never end up in; ones where people do not communicate, are not completely open, do not respect their partner and their partner’s feelings (think: “If he/she were witnessing my behavior/what I am saying to another person, would it hurt their feelings?”).  I see people in unhappy marriages because they rushed into something because “it was time to settle down,” or something of that nature.  I have never understood the concept of “settling” in love.  If it’s love, why should it be considered “settling”?  Love is a CHOICE!  Every day, it is a choice.

As for the phrase, “I love you,” being under-used, well, this one is pretty simple.  If it is love, then sing it strong and proud, because we are never guaranteed tomorrow!  And that goes for all types of love, not just romantic relationships.

I truly feel, deep within my heart, that to be better people we need to think about others.  I am in no way perfect, but I know that there are times when we really need to push our own desires aside and put our loved ones’ needs before our own.  Love really is about putting others before ourselves.

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One thought on “On Love

  1. “ONLY if both people are willing to put in the proper effort and believe their relationship is worth saving.” The key words are “both people” which as I’ve discovered is often not the case, especially when relationships or marriages hit the rocky road. Love is a voluntary choice made by both parties of a relationship. It takes two to tango, and you can’t change the other person’s feelings if they elect to opt out. Sometime it’s best to walk than try to mend a fragile relationship.

    “Love really is about putting others before ourselves.” True, but unfortunately there are folks out in the world that use the word love to manipulate others for their own personal ambition and/or gain. Since you can’t change their selfish ways, being a good judge of character will help one weed out the frauds from the genuine and sincere folks, to minimize hurt and to move on to other fish in the sea.

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