Sorry, I’ve Just Been Busy Getting Abducted by Aliens.


So KP is finally writing again after the usual drop-off-the-face-of-the-earth hiatus.  This time around, I wanted to share an important life lesson that has kicked me a few times.  Unfortunately, I suffer from the curse of she-who-shall-be-a-people-pleaser-until-the-end.  This is THE WORST stance to take with ANYONE, so I hope this can be a lesson to others who may stumble across this blog.

I want to talk about the concept of being “busy.”  You know, that bullshit excuse we all use for why we didn’t call, why we didn’t accomplish some set task, why we didn’t do x,y, or z.  I HATE this excuse.  I’m not saying I’m not guilty of it myself (I have definitely fallen back on this before), but I think we might want to consider telling people the truth instead of keeping them on a hook.  I also think most of us have been on the other side of that, too, where we are the ones being blown off.  So, in an effort to clear up what constitutes legitimate “busy-ness” and what constitutes “bullshit,” I have put together the following:


1. Alien Abductions.


Because those extraterrestrials have a whole bunch of dissecting to accomplish and gene-altering tests to administer, the alien abductee may have good reason to not return calls and/or texts.  Busy level: 7

2. Being chased by tigers


Few things top good old basic survival.  Getting chased and/or mauled by tigers and figuring out how to somehow escape and survive might cause someone to be unable to reach their cell phone for an extended period of time, so don’t worry, they will probably call you as soon as they figure out how to get out of the situation alive.  Busy level: 8

3. Getting attacked by sea monsters


The sea is a place that harbors many-a-mystery, and sometimes some of those mysteries want to eat your ship and everyone onboard.  If you are lucky enough to be onboard a vessel with weapons, expect it to be an all-hands evolution to fight off the beast from the deep.  If your sailor isn’t e-mailing you back in a timely manner, don’t worry, he or she is probably just fighting off gigantic sea monsters.  Busy level: 8

4. Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin fighting off a grizzly bear in “The Edge.”


Alec Baldwin is usually busy leaving his daughter angry voicemails about not having her phone turned on, and then Anthony Hopkins is busy just trying to figure out who to eat for dinner next.  Coupled together and lost in the Alaskan wilderness, trying to ward off a grizzly bear who has been stalking them for days, these two experience some pretty epic levels of busy-ness.   Throw in the fact that they don’t have a working phone between them let alone drinkable water or shelter, these two present a pretty unbeatable standard of preoccupied.  Busy level: 9

5. Being Joe Biden


If you are dating Joe Biden, don’t worry, the man doesn’t even have enough time to drink and clap separately.  Busy level: 10++


Everything else.


EVERYONE HAS TIME IF THEY CHOOSE TO HAVE TIME.  If they’re using the busy excuse it’s because they’re basically telling you: you/your issue is NOT a priority to them.

Specifically with regard to relationships, I have fallen for the “busy” trap before.  BUSY IS NOT AN EXCUSE, I REPEAT, BUSY IS NOT AN EXCUSE!  It’s a polite way to say “You are not important to me.”  I think we all want to do our best and make people like us/want to be around us/realize how awesome we are by giving them as much as we can, but when someone starts using the four letters B-U-S-Y on a regular basis, it is time to run in the opposite direction.

They’re not busy, they’re just full of shit.  And hell, even Joe Biden has time to take selfies.



-KP out!