When There Is No Closure.

Quotation-Maya-Angelou-love-people-Meetville-Quotes-41816

Hello, all.  In the wake of recent events, KP has decided to take a break from social media (for my Facebook friends and followers, I will be back), and focus on her writing and offline life. Very recently, a relationship/friendship ended very abruptly; and in its aftermath I am trying to put some of the pieces back together.  It’s almost like an arm or a leg was cut off, and I’m feeling the effects of phantom-limb-syndrome.  For those who know the feeling all too well (and for those who don’t), it runs along the lines of: They were just there!  We were talking and communicating and suddenly they decided they didn’t want me in their life anymore!  What did I do?  What wasn’t “enough” about me for them?  Was I not kind/considerate/attractive/Christian/insert-adjective-of-choice-here-enough for them?  How are they just gone?  What happened? I have done things in my life I am not proud of; and I can remember just about every major incident where I was a really shitty person.  However, when it has come to really cultivating friendships and relationships were I believed there was potential, I don’t believe I have ever done an emotional 180 on someone, and so I can’t identify with that modus operandi.  

***

Back in 2011, I began Kinpatsu Oneesan as a travel blog, but over time it has evolved to include satire, humor, opinions, and personal experiences and observations.  Even if writing only remains a lifelong hobby, I believe that in order to become a better writer, we have to share what we know to be true so we can connect with others.  Part of this is sharing our failures…and part is sharing the journey to healing.  And sometimes, you know, I’ll hear the right voice in my heart, the voice toward the path of healing and growth, but the voices of self-doubt just as readily creep in (especially in the early stages of grief), and I think getting these words down is part of the path.  Kind of like, “Fake it ’til you make it.”  Even if I don’t 100% believe it just yet, I know it’s the truth and the right way and if I just go over it again and again and constantly re-affirm it, I will eventually believe it fully.  And maybe there are some people who are hurting in the same way in this world, and maybe they can identify and/or find solace in these words.

  ***

For my readers who have been left hurt, confused, and damaged by people who were too self-absorbed/thought they were entitled to behave in thoughtless and careless behavior, although maybe now these words can not alleviate the heartache they have dealt, know this: YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I know what it feels like to wait for a phone call that never comes, an apology that is never given.  To desire closure when there is none.

I know what it is like to be ignored; like an annoying itch or some minor nuisance.  To be degraded down to that by another human is awful and perhaps one of the greatest blows to the Ego.  “If I just ignore them, maybe they’ll just get the hint and go away.”  Or, “If I can nitpick them and continue to find as many flaws as I can, I can convince myself they’re all wrong and get the hell out of this.  I can shirk the responsibility of dealing with the realities of this relationship in a healthy, adult manner and just project my own emotional issues and self-loathing onto this person.”  This is cruel and belittling, especially by one who has professed to be a friend and has gained our trust and confidence in that they supposedly care about us and our lives and feelings.  For some people, this can turn into emotional abuse.

None of this is about us, which is so hard to accept, right?  When you hear people say, “Don’t take it personally!” it’s like, “Are you kidding me?  This is a relationship/friendship/family tie–how much more f*%king personal does it get?!”

But it’s still not about us.  How other people treat us is a reflection of who they are.  Ignoring, not communicating, the vanishing act, etc., are actions indicative of people who have respect issues.  Remember, you are a living, breathing, thinking, feeling human being.  Not a novelty toy.  Not something hat gets discarded when its initial shine has worn off. And so, for all of those who have had a friend/significant other/family member just disengage, here is your closure: Selfish people take selfish actions.

*** images Oftentimes, there is no ill-will or malice involved with these flip-floppers, but there’s also no ownership of actions either.  They most likely have issues they are dealing with, but that’s NOT AN EXCUSE to make others emotional collateral.  All actions have consequences.  We must not be afraid to stand behind that truth. -With kindness and healing, KP

Advertisements

I’m Sorry, My Friend.

Like, most people, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  Social media can consume us with the desire to portray perfect, flawless lives.  It’s like a never ending high-school reunion where we are constantly worried about making sure we have somehow stacked up in the years after leaving (For all my high school classmates reading, rest assured, my life is still all over the place and I’m still neurotic.  I’d like to think, if anything, I’ve just gotten better about not trying to be a self-aggrandizing asshole.  Feel free to commence throwing cabbages.).  But, despite that, it allows for some great inspiration for writing.  I’ll see things posted on different news-feeds; articles, songs, images.  It’s like a never-ending inspiration spread.

A friend of mine posted a picture of the Third Eye Blind album cover, and after not having listened to them for years, I went and downloaded a few songs off iTunes.  Jumper still remains a great song, and in some ways I feel like it’s appropriate for some recent events.

I offer this piece up in apology to a friend:

5349_576012120739_1260648737_n

***

Dear friend,

I am so, so sorry.  I am sorry that I was not more caring of your condition earlier on, and although I thought I did my best to help you keep your head above water, I recognize in doing so, I was robbing you of the ability to learn how to swim.  Because what sort of friend would I be, if any time you had entered the water, I was there pulling you along?  You would never learn the sensation of keeping yourself afloat, never train your muscles to adapt to the strain, and in the event that you entered alone, or I let you go, you would falter and drown.  So, in that, I take full responsibility.  

My friend, you were callous and unkind to me; I know some of your unkindness comes from a place of pain and unhappiness within yourself.  I could hear it in your words as you found ways to belittle me, and while the words stung at the time, I know that it was your way of screaming that you were beginning to drown.  I forgive you.  I forgive you because I understand what it is like to be there, but I do not absolve you of the responsibility in knowing the truth that your actions–all of our actions–have consequences. 

Maybe we will talk and meet again someday.  Maybe we will have grown in different ways.  Maybe we will never speak again.  I just hope that you can put the past away. 

Always,

486143_576012125729_1302571751_n

***

– With kindness for all, KP

The Rose That Grew From Concrete

67404bc864b5a46966a04499ee4c121a.505x292x1

For the past few years, I have written a New Year’s Reflections post because I think it is important to look back on how we have changed and grown in that time period (the 365 days itself is arbitrary, but it serves its purpose as a unit to measure ourselves).  This year, however, I was seriously considering not doing one because of how difficult the year had been, and how many failures I seemed to continuously come by.  However, after thinking it over, I realized, as a writer, it would be wrong to do so, because writing isn’t necessarily about sharing happy endings (if it was, Hemingway would’ve been out of a job).   It’s about trying to express some sort of truth we have come to know through personal experience, and about connecting with others.  Sadness, loss, change, and death are all parts of our human condition.  I had many ideas about how I wanted to do this entry, spanning from comedy to discussion about major world events.  I’ve decided, however, to just share some simple thoughts and reflections.

***

Late January last year I ended a painful relationship, and in a sense most of my major growth this year stemmed from that ending.  I learned that I was not the exception to the rule, and that I was not going to be exempt in life from the lessons that we are forced to learn when relationships don’t work out.  I was pulled into a very bad place due to the vacuum that sprung from its collapse, and I had some very dark days.  Thankfully, my family and my friends came to my aid, and honestly, most of that was just them being there to listen.  The friends who let us cry as much as we need to, who watch us pity ourselves, the ones who see us continually make mistakes and fall, but do not walk away from us: those are the friends who will never waiver in their devotion to us. We do not see the strength of the bonds of friendship and love in the everyday mundane; rather, we see them in the dark times, when we are at our weakest and most pathetic.

I learned that nothing in this life lasts forever, not even the excruciating pain of infidelity and shattered ideals, although for a long time I never thought it would end, and I blamed myself for everything that had transpired.  I lost weight, I exercised furiously, trying to “make myself better.”  I had to be prettier, I had to be thinner, I had to be better.  A voice inside repeated to me: I wasn’t good enough.  I deserved to be treated the way I did because I wasn’t good enough.  I was too demanding, I came with stipulations.  It was all. my. fault.

Those are some of the thoughts that plagued me for months on end.  Jealousy, anger, fear, and sadness made homes for themselves in the broken places of my heart.  It was the complete loss of self in despair.  I went to a very, very dark place.  I wish I could say that I had a magic “ah-ha,” moment (well, in a sense, my run-in with Crazy Internet Mike DID help a few lightbulbs go off, oh Hey Mike!), but really, it was just the passage of time that allowed me to get to the point where I am now.  I also wish that I could now say, on this first day of the New Year, everything in my life is all better, magically fixed by some cosmic super glue.  I can say, however, that I am not in the place that I was five months ago, and that only through this hurt did I experience the true depths of love from others and the true meaning of compassion.

I can also say that I am finally at a place where I recognize the truth that relationships are hard, and oftentimes people will hurt us along the path.  People are complex, and like I discussed in a previous post, In Dreams Begin Responsibilities, not everyone views reality in the same manner, and just as they are under no obligation to treat us with dignity and respect, we are under no obligation to keep them in our lives.  I think many of us become hung up on the idea that those who hurt us deserve to experience the “karma” of their actions.  We need to let go of this flawed idea.  In his book Hogfather, author Terry Pratchett writes:

…take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy.  And yet you act, like there was some sort of rightness in the universe by which it may be judged.

We have no business “waiting on karma” for the other person.  What occurs in our lives, versus what happens in our former significant others’ lives are two completely separate and unrelated things.  We must cut ties so as not to constantly compare our journey with theirs.  You aren’t weak for cutting ties; you are strong in that you recognize the path to self-recovery.  

***

I want to say, THANK YOU, to Natalie Lue over at Baggage Reclaim; without her words of wisdom I would have not come to peace with myself.  We must always remain true to ourselves and to our morals and boundaries.  If people challenge those, it’s time to say, “So long!”  Remember, how people treat you is a reflection of who THEY are; not who YOU are.

I chose the Rose that Grew from Concrete by Tupac (one of his poems) as the theme for the entry because the idea of something beautiful coming from an impossible place is how I want to enter 2015.  The idea that life can still flourish in difficult situations is one that I want to hold dear for the next 365 days.

I hope 2015 brings peace to us all.  Weirdmaste, my friends

-KP

Reflections from a Failure

dcea81a913078e91fab644b093038f38

I started this blog in 2011 because I had experienced something which, at the time, was traumatic.  I was also experiencing high levels of stress at work and had forgotten how to use creative outlets to reconnect with the world.  It’s very interesting to look back on the last three years and see how I have grown, what lessons I have learned, and recognizing that life is very cyclical.

Writing has always been an important part of my life, and it is only recently that I have begun to share that with the world.  I don’t think anything I write is exceptionally special or earth-shattering, but I realized that the reason I was reading books wasn’t only for the sake of reading a book; it was because I was trying to connect with what the author was really trying to say.  I don’t think writing is necessarily a choice; it’s more of a compulsion.  Anyway, what I’m really trying to say here is that I write because I hope that someone stumbling upon this diary can find some solace in the words of a stranger, and to know that as humans we are really very interconnected.  It’s scary and intimidating to lay your inner thoughts on the line, but this isn’t about showcasing emotions like cakes in a bakery display; it’s for those that need the connection.  Somewhere, someone has felt like you.  Maybe I have felt like you–maybe you have felt like me.

I was inspired by author Jo Coudert’s book, Advice from a Failure, when I wrote this journal entry.  I offer up my reflections to anyone else who has felt something similar at some point.

***

11/10/14

I have searched and cried and prayed, and whatever god exists, exists without bias, and without human mind.  At least without a human mind that my simple one can comprehend.  Instead, there is a god–maybe like the ‘god of small things’–who exists somewhere deep inside.  “Here am I,” it says, small and far away.

And here am I, small, and tiny, and afraid.  My tiny life is no greater, and no less than any other tiny life in this world.  And maybe I have failed, maybe I have failed countless times.  I have failed to be so many things, and to have met so many expectations, and I have failed to have continued to see the Way.

Maybe I failed because I wasn’t small and neatly packaged enough.  Maybe I failed because I came with too many stipulations and too much necessity for compromise.  Maybe I failed because I was not strong enough or maybe because I was too strong at times.  Maybe I failed because when I was rejected and turned away I could not leave well enough alone with dignity.  Maybe I failed because I wasn’t something else entirely.

But I am this thing; I have always been this, and to deny it is to deny myself.  And if all else changed in the blink of an eye, I would be left with just this.

It is not love to deny the self, or to feel quashed and trapped because of the desire to quell the self for another.  It is not love to deny what we are.  So, to stop pursuing love is to find it.  To find it in those who have always loved us, despite our faults.  To find it in the small acts of kindness we ourselves can attempt to offer, the compassion we can attempt to give.  In the ability to look at our fellow man and not judge his or her shortcomings, but to feel only compassion and empathy for all who suffer from this human condition.

And, finally, to hear the voice that says, “Here am I,” far away in the depths within, and to answer, “Here I am, I will never leave.”

roy_to-love

In Dreams Begin Responsibilities

Recently, I started reading Haruki Murakami’s Kafka on the Shore, and, as always, he doesn’t disappoint.  What I like best about Murakami’s writing is that it is filled with philosophic, historic, artistic, and musical references.  Somehow he is able to take things that have struck a chord with him in his own life and apply them to his writing.  His works are also usually laden with psychology woven into them, and subsequently open to interpretation.  Sometimes his concepts are strange, but he is able to showcase the human experience very well, and in my opinion it is by the open-ended aspects and the non-definitive.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking recently, reflecting on my experiences the past year up till now, and a certain part of the book really resonated with me.  One of the main characters, a boy who calls himself “Kafka,” is staying at his friend’s isolated cabin, which is filled only with survival necessities and books.  Kafka begins to read a book about a Nazi war criminal, Adolf Eichmann, who was tasked to find the “final solution” for the Jews.  Eichmann was very systematic about it, considering financial costs, the cheapest methods for the transportation and disposal of human bodies.  He was given a situation and mapped out the best possible, practical way to complete the task.  The shocking part is that Eichmann never questioned the morality of any of it, and when he was tried as a war criminal he was lost and confused.  He was just following orders; he was just being a good officer.  The boy, Kafka, finds a note his friend has penciled in the book.  It reads:

“It’s all a question of imagination.  Our responsibility begins with the power to imagine.  It’s just like Yeats said: In dreams begin responsibilities.  Flip this around and you could say where there’s no power to imagine, no responsibility can arise.  Just like we see with Eichmann.”

I thought about this and I realized this concept is a major part of understanding the human condition.  Not everyone shares the same reality.  Our reality is shaped by our own consciousness; this may very well explain the source of all human suffering.  With regard to relationships this can be expressed as: Not everyone views love the same way.  We can beat ourselves up time and time again, we can cling to the past and think of the should’ve-would’ve-could’ves, or we can cut ties with those who have hurt us and accept that the way to heal is to just leave and move on.  Because people experience reality in different ways, we can not expect them to suddenly see and understand our reality.  There are people who will never see things from our point of view.  There are people who will never know how cruel they have been to us.  And it’s not our responsibility to tell them time and time how they hurt us and expect them to magically turn into someone else.

10455823_10152787018968707_5563325809132777942_n

 

In Kafka on the Shore, the concepts of God and Karma are very present.  They tie into everything; our relationships included.  Two quotes that have struck me are:

“If you think God’s there, He is. If you don’t, He isn’t. And if that’s what God’s like, I wouldn’t worry about it.” 

“Even chance meetings are the result of karma… Things in life are fated by our previous lives. That even in the smallest events there’s no such thing as coincidence.” 

I don’t know if I believe that everything is fated, or even what really exists within the universe, but I know that if we shape our realities from our own consciousness, while I have the faculty to see what would be poor choices for my physical and mental well-being, I am going to try and make the wisest decisions I can.  I am not going to worry about the choices of others.  Maybe my suffering in this life is caused from some karmic debt, maybe not.  Regardless, when it comes to people who treat me poorly, I will do what I know to be the wisest decision in this life I live now:  I will let them go completely.  

If a person treats us poorly, it is their karma, not ours.

how-people-treat-you-1

Sorry, I’ve Just Been Busy Getting Abducted by Aliens.

bullshit_everywhere-e1345505471862

So KP is finally writing again after the usual drop-off-the-face-of-the-earth hiatus.  This time around, I wanted to share an important life lesson that has kicked me a few times.  Unfortunately, I suffer from the curse of she-who-shall-be-a-people-pleaser-until-the-end.  This is THE WORST stance to take with ANYONE, so I hope this can be a lesson to others who may stumble across this blog.

I want to talk about the concept of being “busy.”  You know, that bullshit excuse we all use for why we didn’t call, why we didn’t accomplish some set task, why we didn’t do x,y, or z.  I HATE this excuse.  I’m not saying I’m not guilty of it myself (I have definitely fallen back on this before), but I think we might want to consider telling people the truth instead of keeping them on a hook.  I also think most of us have been on the other side of that, too, where we are the ones being blown off.  So, in an effort to clear up what constitutes legitimate “busy-ness” and what constitutes “bullshit,” I have put together the following:

LEGITIMATE BUSY SITUATIONS

1. Alien Abductions.

alien-abduction

Because those extraterrestrials have a whole bunch of dissecting to accomplish and gene-altering tests to administer, the alien abductee may have good reason to not return calls and/or texts.  Busy level: 7

2. Being chased by tigers

article-2348708-1A7EB0B5000005DC-792_964x575

Few things top good old basic survival.  Getting chased and/or mauled by tigers and figuring out how to somehow escape and survive might cause someone to be unable to reach their cell phone for an extended period of time, so don’t worry, they will probably call you as soon as they figure out how to get out of the situation alive.  Busy level: 8

3. Getting attacked by sea monsters

780657_2ea5_1024x2000

The sea is a place that harbors many-a-mystery, and sometimes some of those mysteries want to eat your ship and everyone onboard.  If you are lucky enough to be onboard a vessel with weapons, expect it to be an all-hands evolution to fight off the beast from the deep.  If your sailor isn’t e-mailing you back in a timely manner, don’t worry, he or she is probably just fighting off gigantic sea monsters.  Busy level: 8

4. Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin fighting off a grizzly bear in “The Edge.”

The_Edgemovie_wallpaper_pictures_photo_pics_poster260310092953the_edge_movie_2

Alec Baldwin is usually busy leaving his daughter angry voicemails about not having her phone turned on, and then Anthony Hopkins is busy just trying to figure out who to eat for dinner next.  Coupled together and lost in the Alaskan wilderness, trying to ward off a grizzly bear who has been stalking them for days, these two experience some pretty epic levels of busy-ness.   Throw in the fact that they don’t have a working phone between them let alone drinkable water or shelter, these two present a pretty unbeatable standard of preoccupied.  Busy level: 9

5. Being Joe Biden

700

If you are dating Joe Biden, don’t worry, the man doesn’t even have enough time to drink and clap separately.  Busy level: 10++

NON-LEGITIMATE BUSY SITUATIONS

Everything else.

 

EVERYONE HAS TIME IF THEY CHOOSE TO HAVE TIME.  If they’re using the busy excuse it’s because they’re basically telling you: you/your issue is NOT a priority to them.

Specifically with regard to relationships, I have fallen for the “busy” trap before.  BUSY IS NOT AN EXCUSE, I REPEAT, BUSY IS NOT AN EXCUSE!  It’s a polite way to say “You are not important to me.”  I think we all want to do our best and make people like us/want to be around us/realize how awesome we are by giving them as much as we can, but when someone starts using the four letters B-U-S-Y on a regular basis, it is time to run in the opposite direction.

They’re not busy, they’re just full of shit.  And hell, even Joe Biden has time to take selfies.

joe-biden-obama-selfie

 

-KP out!

It’s Not You, It’s Them. Yes, It’s Definitely Them.

Guess who’s back?  That’s right, it’s taken me a good while to get my life together out here in beautiful Hawaii but KP is finally back and writing.  These past seven months have been incredibly trying, and I’ve learned quite a bit about myself.  In summary:

1. My 12 week program was a crash-and-burn once I hit Hawaii.  First 6 weeks were great, but life lesson learned: don’t enter into an extensive diet/exercise/fitness program that requires long workouts, very low calorie meals, and very limited foods while in a transition phase.  It simply doesn’t work.  You need to be in a set routine for it to be effective.  Moving is not the best time to do this.

2. New jobs can cause unique stresses.

3. People are stupid.

That’s right people, for tonight’s installment of whatever-I-feel-like-writing-about, I bring you, KP’S DATE FROM HEEEEELLLL!!!!  Cue Vincent Price entrance with appropriately creepy theme-song!  I was pretty miserable over the breakup of my relationship for quite a long time, and I blamed myself for its failure.  However, it took a recent experience to really open my eyes to this fact: It’s not you, it’s them.

Recently, I went out with this guy I met online.  Now, I don’t want to knock online dating because I know some people who it’s really worked out for.  However, I automatically assume everyone on the internet is cat-phishing or a serial killer.  YOU DON’T KNOW WHO IS SITTING ON THE OTHER END OF THAT COMPUTER.  End of story.  Well, I met Mike, and he seemed like your run-of-the-mill-weirdo that you find online.  Okay, cool.  Great, it’s going to be true love.  I tell Mike we can meet for coffee, because I need a quick exit in case he’s 30 lbs heavier in person, or you know, he tells me he fantasizes about wearing my skin or something like that (ala Buffalo Bill).

buffalo-bill2

Anyway, we meet, and he’s pretty weird in person, too, but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and not be overly judgmental (note: if you get the feeling in your gut something’s up, you’re probably right).  Mike made a pretty big mistake (well, he made a few big mistakes) on date #1: he didn’t ask for my last name to put in his phone when he got my number.  That automatically alerts me that something’s up.  Like, don’t you want to know who I am?? I could have a criminal record or I could be a crazy internet stalker (cue overly-enthusiastic Justin Bieber fan girl).

20140727-233047-84647464.jpg

I should’ve asked for his right then and there, but I wasn’t sure if maybe these days asking for a last name is like, a major milestone in a relationship?  You know, somewhere after the decision to be monogamous, but before you’re boyfriend/girlfriend?  I have no idea.  So then Mike begins the text-a-thon.  Gentlemen: DON’T TEXT GOOD MORNING AFTER THE FIRST DATE.  IT’S CREEPY!!!  Like, whoa give the person a chance to breathe!  This guy was all kinds of up-in-my grill.  Also, STOP. ASKING. WHAT. I’M. DOING. EVERY. FIVE. MINUTES.  “Whatcha doin’?”  I’M SITTING HERE WATCHING FORENSIC FILES PICKING MY NOSE AND THIS IS HOW I’M GOING TO REMAIN FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT SO JUST STOP.  His attempts to get me to come over were pretty transparent, so what do you do with a creeper who is trying to creep?  You creep on back!  Example:

Mike: “You’re so beautiful and intelligent.”

Me: “Aww, I’ll bet you say that to all the girls you meet on the internet.”

Mike: “Too bad you’re all the way over in (town name here), all by yourself and scared.”

Me: “Nah, I’m not scared.  I got my discount ginsu knives for protection.  I’m also thinking about investing in some brass knuckles.”

Still, I wanted to give him one more chance.  So we agreed to meet for dinner.  And I had a nice time, he was slightly less weird, but still weird.  He had this thing about infidelity, saying how he was very anti-infidelity.  Well, I don’t know if there’s this weird human thing where people like to think that the more they say something, it must be true (even if it really isn’t).  Kind of like if you know you’re not really a good singer, the louder you sing you think you can fool people into thinking you’re actually a good singer?  So I’m pretty suspicious, and I ask for his last name.  HE STILL DOESN’T ASK FOR MINE.  RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG.  So the date comes to an end and we say our goodbyes, he says he thinks we should go hiking on Saturday.  Okay, Mike.  Sounds great, will the third date be the charm for when you finally ask for my last name and don’t make me feel like just a name in your creepy phonebook of first names?  I get home and immediately commence appropriate google and Facebook stalking.  Sure enough, he comes up.  No criminal record, okay, check.  However, his Facebook profile picture is definitely of him and another girl, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes lovingly.  I find her name and click on it, and her profile picture is of the two of them.  I’m not even mad, I’m honestly  laughing at this point.  Like, are people THAT STUPID?  So I text him what’s up, and he proceeds to tell me they broke off the engagement “well over a month ago,” except not, because, thanks Facebook for date and time stamps, because less than a month ago he writes, “So happy I’ve found the love of my life!”  WHAT.  WHAT.  CUE ALL WHITE GIRLS HERE AND LET’S GET A COLLECTIVE: I CAN’T EVEN.  

canteven

He told me he couldn’t prove that their engagement was off and that contacting her to change things “would just cause more problems.”   Riiiiiiiiiiight.  Because what female in her right mind would keep a profile picture up of your stupid ass if she broke off an engagement with you AND broke up with you?  Just for shits and giggles?  Hey everyone, remember the time I almost married THAT asshole?  Yeah me, too!  Hold on, let me constantly remind myself of how much he sucked by keeping our picture up!  LOLS!!!

Needless to say, Mike and I did not go hiking, and he still doesn’t know my last name (thankfully).

Moral of the story (well, there are a few):

1. The internet is f*cking WEIRD.

2. Gentlemen: if you want to be shady and have a jump-off or a side dish, for god’s sake change the professionally done engagement photo profile picture of you and her.

3. Most importantly: IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S THEM.  IT’S DEFINITELY THEM.  How someone can sit across from you at a dinner table and tell you they have issues with infidelity and then you find out they’re married/engaged/in a serious relationship–IT’S 100% THEM!!!  They’re nuts!!!  

People, look up Occam’s Razor, in the most basic sense it’s a way of deciding between theories–basically the path of least resistance is usually the right one, or whichever way causes less assumptions is usually the truth.  So I could assume this guy is just a cheater and lying.  Or I could assume that he “doesn’t really use his Facebook and just kept up the profile picture because he didn’t really give a crap” and I could just assume that the reason HER profile picture is still of them post-engagment/relationship breakup is because she’s dead or abducted by aliens or converted to the Amish faith and believes the internet will steal her soul so she doesn’t use a computer anymore and it’s the 2nd Tuesday of the month which means half-off on Tacos at the Taco Shack down the road.  Ooooooookaaaaaaaaayy!

As silly as this whole thing was, it made me realize, my ex was going to treat me badly regardless of how pretty/intelligent/unique/whatever I was.  People will treat you how they treat you based on their own selfish desires.   It has NOTHING to do with you, so if someone isn’t treating you how you feel you deserve to be treated (with respect, love, and dignity), LEAVE THEIR SORRY ASS!!

 

-KP out!